Oi you! You’re bard!

Conversation chez Klein the other night:

Daisy:  Mum, you know you said that you’d be happy to help me with my English homework?  Well, I’ve got this essay…

Me:  Sure, what are you writing about?

Daisy: Othello.

Me;  Awww, I hate Othello!  I’ve never liked it, even when I was at school.  It’s pants!

Daisy:  That’s not very helpful.  Or very mature.

Me:  Sorry, you’re right.  OK, fire away, what did you want to ask me?

Daisy:  Well, you know how Iago hates Cassio…

Me:  He invented the programmable calculator, you know.

Daisy:  What?

Me:  Cassio.  Invented the programmable calculator, ha, ha.

Daisy (coldly):  Yes.  Well.  Anyway, if we could get on.  In this scene here, when Brabantio says…

Me:  Do they mention his wife?

Daisy:  Whose wife?!

Me: Brabantio’s wife, Brabantia.  She invented the pedal-bin…

Daisy:  The wha…?

Me:  And the ironing-board!

Daisy:  Nnnngggh!!!!

Homework was never this much fun when I was at school.

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6 Responses to Oi you! You’re bard!

  1. Tim Footman says:

    You’re right, though. It is pants.

  2. Sylvia says:

    Ooh – what a good ruse! Thanks for the tip, Marsha – I’ll try it next time I’m asked to help with homework. It drives me nuts. Evenings spent asking children to do homework, thrn you have to do it for them at 10pm. Drives me mad. I’ve banned them from doing homework after a certain time. Things have improved a bit, but not much.
    Sorry. rant over. But I have more trouble with my children’s homework than I ever had with my own. And I had shed loads more to do than they’ve ever carted home!

  3. marshaklein says:

    Tim: When I read your CiF piece about Othello, I had that “not just me then” feeling. I don’t think you’re allowed to diss Shakespeare at school, though. I had to wait until I was at university before I was allowed to say that I found it an unconvincing piece overall – although it does have some good bits. Iago is fab.

    Sylvia: Ain’t it the truth though? I regularly ask my two what mark I’ve received for a particular piece of work – sometimes I’m only half kidding! I must say I regard winding them up as one of the perks of parenthood – does that make me a psycho?

  4. my two are not at the stage where they NEED any help getting wound up

    i had to grapple them out of our local library this afternoon after they both went into meltdown over a touchy-feely pink book about princesses

    one kid under each arm and they were like banshees all the way home (feel sure the people at the bus stop thought they were being kidnapped)

    once home, they continued to wail for a further 20 minutes

    if nothing else, i was impressed by their sheer tenacity

  5. marshaklein says:

    LH: I once got a right ticking-off from a librarian in that very same library after Daisy (now 16) chucked a load of kids books about the place. I seem to remember tears were involved for both of us (me and Daisy, not the librarian). Happy days!

  6. Sylvia says:

    Mine have never gone willingly into a library . All 3 hate reading. So I’ve never had any problems getting out of libraries.

    Winding children up? It’s one of the great pleasures of parenthood. If you’re a psycho, so am I!

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