A Day Marr-ed by Disappointment

“Dear Householder,

Let’s face it: you are bombarded with messages promising you cheaper insurance. (I am, and it is rather annoying)

It’s enough to drive you mad. (Hell, yeah)

So why is this letter different from all the others you get? (No idea, do tell)

It’s simple (Good, I like simple): we are more likely to give you a lower price – for two good reasons (Sounds like a winner.  Please continue.)

First, we specialise in PEOPLE OVER 50 (Sorry, I must have…WHAT?!)  and second, we work hard to get you the best possible terms. (Never mind that mate, what’s with this “over 50” business?)

This morning, the business news on Today ran an item on the Cadbury Schweppes jobs cuts.  The presenter asked a representative of Investec whether he thought that an increased public interest in healthy eating had contributed to Cadbury’s decision to cut jobs. The Investec guy replied that, as confectionery only made up a small part of most peoples’ calorie intake, he didn’t think it had had much effect, although Cadbury’s would obviously want “to cover the flanks of obesity”!! He went on to say that he thought Cadbury would now concentrate it’s efforts in taking on Wrigley in the gum market as that market “is easier to re-shape”  As anyone who’s ever tried to re-model a Creme Egg will testify!

Perhaps Radio 4 should designate the 6.30am slot as their “comedy” slot.  Certainly beats Jo Caulfield into a cocked hat.

 Andrew Marr is all sold out at the Edinburgh Book Festival.  I’m SO disappointed.

 In case anyone’s confused and thinks these are merely the ramblings of a diseased mind (as if!) I should perhaps point out that the first two are things I found amusing and the third is something I found not at all amusing.  I shall be giving all the attendees at Andrew Marr’s event a HARD STARE as they are clearly rich enough to afford to be level 3 “Friends” of the Book Festival, which allows you priority booking for unlimited events.  Bah!

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15 Responses to A Day Marr-ed by Disappointment

  1. BiB says:

    Darling, but what do you need insured? I largely avoid the grown-up world and hope that tragedies will be kind and leave me alone. Which is rather babyish. There was some insurance or other which was mega-compulsory when I lived in Paris. Personal liability something or other. I had a boyfriend there for ten seconds and he always gave me the example that if I accidentally pushed someone under a train in the metro, I wouldn’t be liable. I’ve got something similar here now. When I tell the Russian it would be a good thing not to blow up or flood the neighbours, he replies, “But you’ve got that insurance”. It’s that and my medical insurance. Otherwise, what else do I need? I’m under 50.

    And on the subject of Radio 4 comedy, what do you think of this http://www.christophergreen.net/ chappy? His Tina C does make me laugh, and I think his American accent is quite convincing, unlike most British comedians who attempt American accents in those sketch shows.

  2. marshaklein says:

    The letter in question was just a speculative one. It made me laugh because, after commiserating with me about the irritations of speculative insurance mailings, it then proceeded to, potentially, irritate me a great deal by suggesting I was older than I actually am.

    Tina C quite often makes an appearance at the Edinburgh Festival – maybe I should go and see him/her there. I’ve heard the radio show, sort of, but the trouble in our house is if the children aren’t interested in something, they just talk through it and if I listen in my bedroom, there’s every chance I’ll fall asleep and miss it anyway!

  3. pleite says:

    Oh dear, every time I read about people-with-children’s selflessness, I get a pang of moral panic that we homos are wicked and evil. Which is perfectly true, in my case.

    He/she could well be worth going to see. He’s got quite a nice face. I might become a proper fan. I need to buy some spare knickers to throw.

  4. marshaklein says:

    I’m perfectly sure you’re not wicked and evil (or at least no more so than anyone else). It’s not so much selflessness, more grim resignation.

    He does have a nice face and a lovely smile (I’m very partial to nice smiles). I have always avoided the knicker throwing thing – mainly because mine wouldn’t look out of place on the mast of a yacht! Avast behind!

  5. Urban Chick says:

    whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
    nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    the book festival tickets are on sale already?

    dammit – i signed up for email alerts

    i am cross!

    (i also love mr marr)

  6. marshaklein says:

    The booking seems to have been a bit of a shambles generally this year. The online booking was down for at least 24 hours and Waterstones’s on George Street is full of tired, cross book-lovers. The queues on Tuesday were unbelievable, according to Mr K, who was at a meeting in the vicinity.
    I suspect Andrew Marr had sold out before the general public were let loose on the box office. I’m hugely disappointed and so is Mr K. and our older daughter. I was all ready to take her out of school to see him – she’s been really interested in the TV series. I think I may still try to go up for the book-signing afterwards.

    All very unsatisfactory, though.

  7. Urban Chick says:

    well, after many abortive attempts online, i’ve splurged and spent £100 on lots of different events (fell prey to the mad frenzy, i suppose)

    no tickets for the biggies left (mr marr, alan bennett, paxo, monbiot, and not my beloved martha kearney)

    😦

    BUT got tickets to see joan bakewell and will hutton and a couple of kiddy authors much loved by the chicklets

    🙂

  8. Mangonel says:

    Yuh-HUH but you will at least be in the same city as the lovely Mr Marr. I’m in rural bloody Bucks.

    Looking forward to reading about your meeting him – I’m expecting the words ‘lovely’ and ‘nice’ and ‘even sexier than he looks on telly’ to figure prominently.

  9. pleite says:

    Avast behind. Good punning! (Though I had to check the meaning of avast, me being a landlubber cockney ‘n all that.)

    OK, maybe I’m not wickeder than anyone else. Let’s compare wickedness later in the year!

  10. Urban Chick says:

    do you like joan bakewell btw? i’ve bought two tickets (part of my mad frenzy) and turns out dh can’t come and my mum won’t as she’s not a fan

    this could be a pre-meet to a proper, big edinburgh blogmeet…!

  11. Lulla says:

    Mr Marr has, to me, an unexectedly broad fanbase. I’m more of a John Sergeant girl and I always feel like Marr has cast a deep mystical Charisma spell over everyone while I was on the loo or asleep, 28 days later style. Although I’ve nothing against him I wouldn’t chuck my knickers at him. Paxo, though, totally different kettle of fish!

  12. marshaklein says:

    UC: Yes please! I’ll email you to confirm.

    Lulla: I’ve made my feelings regarding (my) throwing knickers clear, I think – not so much wouldn’t as couldn’t. I will admit to coming over all unnecessary when Paxo says “Oh come off it, Minister” but if it was a choice between him and Andrew Marr as a drinking companion, AM would win every time.

  13. Sylvia says:

    I’m home at last!!!! I thought my passion for Andrew Marr was a solitary affair – but deep down I never gave up hope – I’m not his only fan!!!
    I have to confess, I did stray for a while – I found myself a toy boy – Julian Rhind Tutt – but I’m now ready to repent and throw myself at Andrew Marr again. Lucky, lucky him.

    I have to admit, though, I have been appalled at his choice of leisurewear. When he went to the Galapagos a few years ago to present the case for Darwin I was deeply shocked. I even went as far as emailing Johnnie Boden and begging him to send a marked up copy of the catalogue for his perusal. Johnnie even emailed me back to assure me that he had!
    Then there was the shirt he wore on that cookery programme on BBC2 when he did that Moroccan dish – talk about do not adjust your set!
    Then on the latest series – what WAS that pink top her wore for the second episode! After that he did wear a nice green jumper.
    Monday mornings for me are sacrosanct – I have to listen to Start the Week. it’s a pity they have to have guests on it, but at least I don’t have to see what he’s wearing.
    Why does this man not have his own website? even Mr Snuffles has his own website!

    I do envy you Edinburgh in August – I’m on the planet Naboo as usual, but one year I WILL escape and come up to Edinburgh.

  14. marshaklein says:

    Sylvia, what WAS with that pink top?? No, you are not alone; the lovely Mr Marr, it seems, has quite a following and not only among women of “a certain age”, either. No-one was more disappointed about missing him at the Book Festival than my 15 year-old!

    Come to Edinburgh and bring your girls with you. Although we live in the frozen North we have plenty of shops, cinemas and the other usual teenage distractions – they might enjoy it!

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