“Dear Householder,
Let’s face it: you are bombarded with messages promising you cheaper insurance. (I am, and it is rather annoying)
It’s enough to drive you mad. (Hell, yeah)
So why is this letter different from all the others you get? (No idea, do tell)
It’s simple (Good, I like simple): we are more likely to give you a lower price – for two good reasons (Sounds like a winner. Please continue.)
First, we specialise in PEOPLE OVER 50 (Sorry, I must have…WHAT?!) and second, we work hard to get you the best possible terms. (Never mind that mate, what’s with this “over 50″ business?)
This morning, the business news on Today ran an item on the Cadbury Schweppes jobs cuts. The presenter asked a representative of Investec whether he thought that an increased public interest in healthy eating had contributed to Cadbury’s decision to cut jobs. The Investec guy replied that, as confectionery only made up a small part of most peoples’ calorie intake, he didn’t think it had had much effect, although Cadbury’s would obviously want “to cover the flanks of obesity”!! He went on to say that he thought Cadbury would now concentrate it’s efforts in taking on Wrigley in the gum market as that market “is easier to re-shape” As anyone who’s ever tried to re-model a Creme Egg will testify!
Perhaps Radio 4 should designate the 6.30am slot as their “comedy” slot. Certainly beats Jo Caulfield into a cocked hat.
Andrew Marr is all sold out at the Edinburgh Book Festival. I’m SO disappointed.
In case anyone’s confused and thinks these are merely the ramblings of a diseased mind (as if!) I should perhaps point out that the first two are things I found amusing and the third is something I found not at all amusing. I shall be giving all the attendees at Andrew Marr’s event a HARD STARE as they are clearly rich enough to afford to be level 3 “Friends” of the Book Festival, which allows you priority booking for unlimited events. Bah!
